If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know that back when I started this in 2012 I set out to lose 50lbs and to get my health, body and mind to a better place.
And if you don’t remember, On October 1st 2012 I changed my eating habits pretty drastically…like, cold turkey from the way I had been eating for So.many. years. I was three months postpartum and just that can be difficult. After losing Naomi it was a dark time, even though many people thought that I was handling it in a fairly positive way. Well, I was on the outside because I had a 2.5 year old toddler and husband to continue on life with but in reality I was eating my feelings and emotions because I was just…sad, disappointed, mad, confused and lost. I’m writing this today because I want anyone that reads this to know that just by the simple act of changing my eating habits overtime, I became the person that I’d been wishing to become for a long time AND it got me out of the dark places I was in. I went off the few sleeping pill prescriptions I was on, my heartburn/acid reflux went a way (also used meds for that), my body was less achy, my mind was more clear, I was actually happy and for the first time in 31 years I actually believed and could see that what we put into our bodies REALLY, REALLY matters-weight loss aside.
All that awesomeness to say, over the last 2.5 years my views have shifted and drifted and been distorted a bit because of the fact that I’m in the fitness/gym work life. It’s HUGE, huge part of my everyday lifestyle, it’s my job and it can take a toll on the mind and how we look at ourselves, mostly on the outside. I’d by lying if I said it hasn’t been hard…like, really hard. I keep shifting different eating styles and habits but I just HAVE NOT been feeling my best and my insides (all things digestions and gut) have been suffering, a lot. In the gym/fitness life it’s all about “if it fits your macros” and how to hack all the GOOD tasting food to fit your day, all while filling our bodies with crappy, crappy foods because “it fits.” I got sucked into that vicious cycle and the mind guilt game twice now and I’m just sick and tired of it. Those first two years of changing my eating lifestyle was almost effortless. Everything tasted good, I was full and satisfied all the time and I DID NOT track or log into my phone a single piece of food.
So this leads me to now. I’ve been struggling with binge eating because I’ve been filling up on all the carbohydrates, not of the veggie/fruit variety so I’m constantly feeling hungry every 2-3 hrs in combo with all of my workouts. (AKA: hangry!) I kept filling my day with things that weren’t agreeing with me because…duh, it fit my day and that was way more exciting to eat those chips or a cookie or even that popcorn and chocolate than something else to reach my goals. My mental fight with food will probably be ever on-going but I’ve got a much better handle on it because these foods keeps me full. I want to eat to fuel my body, not eat to fuel my workouts (per say)…that will just come naturally as I continue this path from where I originally started. I’m getting back to feeling SO much better.
Those of you lucky people without any digestive issues well…you are so lucky and you may not even realize you have any sort of issues. I’m not saying you should cut all of this food or that food, but just pay more attention to how you’re feeling after you eat that carb heavy meal or those treats or that big bowl of whatever dairy you just had or that “macro” hack type thing you just made.
I’m going back to basics of being a fat burner not a sugar burner (think: carb up before a workout, post workout, anytime in your day…etc). Last week, on a random Wednesday I hadn’t eaten since 7pm the night before. I drank water and a cup of tea and I felt 110% better in my workout the following morning than I have in the past 2 years! I was still full from the day before and all the yummy, whole foods I’d eaten that I didn’t need to eat before because I just wasn’t hungry yet. THAT to me is food freedom. For many people, eating much higher fat and lower carbohydrates (I’m not saying NO carbs, just lower) and moderate/high protein can be scary…like, how can I eat all that fat?! But you can…you really can!
My point of this VERY long (and possibly preachy) post today is not only to keep myself accountable, it’s to make you think twice about how you really feel after you eat- at anytime of day and to make you question.. do you really feel your best? REALLY. I’ve directed a bunch of friends to Marks Daily Apple and the Primal BlueprintPrimal Blueprint that last several weeks, just as a starting point. This lifestyle suggested can be morphed into whatever fits YOU and your life best. I’ve had lots of fails and setbacks but I’m hoping this is still the key for me in feeling so much better on the inside first and foremost…forever!
And just a few pics from the past week, nothing too exciting 😉
Good friend Julia joining the gym was THE highlight of my week. She is an amazing runner and is realizing how the benefits of doing different things and switching up her routine will help her become a better runner, mom, wife and woman. THIS is why I love what I do and the example that it can be.
When it’s just too bright in the bathtub.
And this awesome Saturday morning crew. They really do work SO hard and do everything I say. I’ve been subbing this Saturday class a lot and starting next week, I’ll take it on permanently. Excited!
And this kid. His feet are growing, his pj’s are getting shorter and time just goes so fast sometimes. I went out and played in the snow with him the other day, just watching and observing him in the moment. I really, really love this boy so much.
And Dan…He finally got out on his first backcountry tour since 2015. Yep, two years ago was the last time he’s been touring. Between the broken collar bone/scapula and having cold after cold since December he’s finally feeling back to himself.
Thanks to everyone who reads this blog (I don’t know a lot of you that do, but thank you!) I always hope that I bring a happy and positive read to you each week. When I write long posts like this, it’s really just for me…to keep me in check sometimes, keeps me motivated and accountable. LOVE YOU ALL!