First off, Sam and I had a special date yesterday….his first time going to see a movie! He was amazed when we walked into the theater and I was too, quite honestly. I haven’t been to a movie in years and years. It’s like walking through a mall of junk food craziness! Luckily, I brought some snacks of our own in case we needed them 🙂 I knew he wouldn’t sit in his seat the entire time, so I was glad that we were the ONLY two in the theater the entire movie. It was perfect. He’s still talking about Planes movie all day today and how cool it was going to the theater. So fun!
Now onto this weeks weigh in. I’m up again to 155lbs. Last week I was so happy to finally be below 154-155lbs, but that was short lived. It’s OK though, as I know that my eating and the stress and pressure I put on myself has everything to do with it. Still, almost a year later my addiction and bad habits toward food are not gone, just way less of an issue and I’m able to control and handle it SO much better. I still struggle with snacking too much or just eating too much in one sitting, I know that’s still a factor.
I also put a lot of pressure on myself to do better, be stronger, go further and push my body. Ali asked me this morning if I thought a year ago this is how I’d look and feel and truthfully, I didn’t think I’d be this far. I’m beyond what I thought I’d look and feel like and I’m 110% proud of where I am and how I feel. It’s hard though, because each milestone I get to in this journey I keep feeling like I need to push it further and I can and need to look or feel better. I already know I’m strong, fit and healthy and why can’t I just be OK with that…I should be! I’m realizing that I am. It’s just hard when I’ve made so much progress I just want to see even more. I set out with this goal of losing 50 pounds and I’m still on that road. I’m 100% sure I can do it, as I’m just so close.
I keep telling myself this, as I don’t want to keep comparing myself to others who may look smaller or stronger or more “healthy” than me because I am awesome!
I’m going to make small changes to the things and how much I’m eating and get back to more of a working out style that looks like this:
I don’t want to be a slave to the scale, but I DO want to reach the goals that I set for myself and maintain a healthy life and weight forever. And, if I’m being very honest with myself, I still have more fat to lose. It’s a journey, not a race and I am totally OK with it. I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself so that won’t have that stress in my everyday life. I want to just be totally fine with how I am and know that as the weeks go by, I can and will improve and reach my goals. This journey has been the center of my life and all consuming and I need to just step back and realize how far I’ve come and how much I’ve done thus far. I mean, I came home with a size 8 pants people, size 8! I cannot remember a time in my adult life I was this size. I’m an 8/10 and it feels awesome! And to think I was a tight size 16/18 one year ago…
And in other exciting stuff, Saturday I’ll be riding around this beautiful mountain! Our long Timpanogos ride will happen in three days, 7:30am sharp! All those long, long rides this summer have helped me prepare and be ready for this ride. It will be out of my comfort zone and definitely an adventure. Can’t wait!